How to type into your toaster : A tutorial by Thean (AleXx)

How to type into your toaster : A tutorial by Thean (AleXx)
How to pick up Men By: Margo, MJ, Fion, and Amber
Poetry Corner
Questions for Fion
Badgerstaff Wheneverly : Volume 2, Issue 1

*Note* This tutorial does not apply to toaster ovens. If you own a toaster oven and are looking to type on it, I suggest enrolling in an oven-calligraphy class.
*Tip* This tutorial is best viewed when picturing Sean Biggerstaff (the benefactor himself) following all procedures.


1. If you wish to type out a document, proceed to bang on the bottom side of the toaster while dictating. To save, bang once. To print, double bang.
2. If you would like to play music, peer inside the toaster itself and stroke the plug while humming your favourite tune.
3. To connect to the Internet, hold the toaster up to your forehead and chant, "Sa Na Ba Ga Ga Ra Sa Fa Fa" (If does not work, say it twice as loud while putting more pressure on your forehead. This is Sean's signature technique and has never failed him.)
4. One connected, if you would like to chat with other toaster typers, move the slider up and down in accordance to your syllables.

(Forward any complaints to SaNaSaCa

By Sean Biggerstaff (a la Alex)
*These problems have been reported by the very few toaster typers that exist in the world today*

Room banning:
If you have accidentally banned an entire chat room, put the toaster down and go listen to some Man music. MAN music cures everything.

Internet cancellation:
If you have mistakenly cancelled your Internet, you probably have not. Check your toaster insides for any stray rocks that may have missed your forehead.

Unleashing Hell:
If you have accidentally unleashed hell upon the earth, do not fret. Everything will be alright. Stick your head in the oven for a good few minutes. When you see the bright light, either your hair is on fire or you've fixed your problem. (Do NOT, I repeat, do NOT use a toaster oven for this. I have learned from experience.)

Comments, Submissions?