1. If you wish
to type out a document, proceed to bang on the bottom side of the toaster while dictating. To save, bang once. To print, double
2. If you would like to play music, peer inside the toaster itself and stroke the plug while humming your favourite
3. To connect to the Internet, hold the toaster up to your forehead and chant, "Sa Na Ba Ga Ga Ra Sa Fa Fa" (If does
not work, say it twice as loud while putting more pressure on your forehead. This is Sean's signature technique and has never
4. One connected, if you would like to chat with other toaster typers, move the slider up and down in accordance
to your syllables.
(Forward any complaints
to SaNaSaCa Ka.com)
By Sean Biggerstaff
(a la Alex)
*These problems have been reported by the very few
toaster typers that exist in the world today*
If you have accidentally
banned an entire chat room, put the toaster down and go listen to some Man music. MAN music cures everything.
you have mistakenly cancelled your Internet, you probably have not. Check your toaster insides for any stray rocks that may
have missed your forehead.
If you have accidentally unleashed hell upon the earth, do not fret. Everything
will be alright. Stick your head in the oven for a good few minutes. When you see the bright light, either your hair is on
fire or you've fixed your problem. (Do NOT, I repeat, do NOT use a toaster oven for this. I have learned from experience.)