(Back from a request by Melisus.)
Disclaimer: "This Hour Has 22 Minutes", I love you lot. Suing me might only entertain me even more.
Shirtless TeenIidols and Russian Women! Are these the parents of SBMB youth today? The answer is quite clear.
No. The truth is, these ads in the SB Chat actually contain subliminal messages! Maybe they hold the answers to all of the burning questions on the minds of young badgers today. Never again will someone come across the questions, "What kind of girl does Sean like?" and "Will.you.take.off.your.kilt?" Never again! Now we must take the initiative to shoot down these questions with remarks such as, "He likes Russian women!", "He would rather take off his shirt!" or if the circumstances require it, "He likes Shirtless Russian Teens!" Then again, this may all be wishful thinking. There is no spoon.
Some days ago, Alex was going through her wardrobe to get rid of stuff she doesn't wear. It only took her a minute to realize that she has such an emotional attachment to certain articles of clothing. Why? If anyone knows, please share your knowledge. One can only speculate! Unfortunately, we all know speculation leads to congestive heart failure. Alex has had a pair of purple shorts since she was 6 years old. They still fit her, although they look more like hot pants more than shorts. Why is it she cannot throw them out? Is Alex greedy? Is Alex not fashionable? Is Alex a pack rat? Yes, yes and no. Alex is a pig.
Speaking of clothing, why do PJ pants have pockets? What could one possibly need pockets for a pair of pants they are going to bed in? Just what could you need? Gum to chew in bed? It will end up in your hair. Money? Plan on buying anything in your dreams? Lip gloss? Maybe the hot cashier in that potentially X-Rated dream of yours might actually notice you this time. Tampons? Jebus, what do you people dream about in those sick minds of yours?
Speaking of sick minds...
Can anyone figure out what the oldest thing known to humankind is? Any volunteers? Anyone? Yes! You in the back, with the oddly shaped penis on your head! That's right ladies and gentlemen! Marf. Marf is the oldest thing known to humankind. This pig can only assume that everyone knows what she is talking about. This pig also feels sorry for those who actually know.
That's how I saw the world today. For me, myself, and Alex, may the marf be with you!