Voiceover Guy:Previously on "Stockholm Syndrome Sean"...
Cut to:
Diane: SEAN! Just attach the red wire to the blue wire!
Sean: (Trying to dismantle a bomb) BUT THEY'RE ALL GREEN!
(bomb explodes)
Cut to:
Sean: Just tell me the truth!
Peachers: YOU CAN'T HANDLE THE TRUTH! (slaps him senseless)
Cut to:
Doctor: I have to tell you something Mr. Biggerstaff...but it
isn't going to be easy...
Sean: Just tell me...whatever it is...
Doctor: Well, the good news is...your wife is alright...but...(breaks
down in tears) we couldn't save the baby...
Sean: But..........I was just getting my tonsils taken out!
Cut to:
(Sean doing intense aerobics to the Badger Badger song)
Well, that was a heck of a thing...on to the REAL show!
Stolkholm Syndrome Sean: Part 2
Marley was dead: To begin with. There is no doubt whatever about
that. The register of his burial was signed by the clergyman, the clerk, the undertaker, and the chief mourner. Sean signed
it: and Sean's name was good upon 'Change, for anything he chose to put his and...awwww you get the point! Old Marley was
as dead as a door-nail. And um...god bless us. Every one. But that's WAY besides the point. Bah. Humbag.
At this point of time, it looked very much like
the shero of the story, Sean, was soon going to join Marley in dead-dome. Being held hostage by horny girls ranging from
age 12 to 40 was beginning to take it's toll. But the worse was yet to cum. Or erm...come.
Also at this point of time, Sean was asleep. Whilst
tied and gagged to a chair....
"WAKE UP" screamed Peachers, as she dumped a bucket of cold
water on his head.
"AAAAAAAAAAH! COLD!" said Sean the Wuss. "What was that for?
I was just about to wake up anyway!"
"That was for the SMELL genius!" said Diane.
Ah Diane. Her's is a tragic story. Once upon a clock, she was the
beloved cousin of Sean. Dedicated to working on his website...his website which he's sadly neglected. Over time, Diane developed
a close bond with the message board members...and yet still kept the bond with Seanus himself. Then, IT happened. Sean
openly proclaimed that he would be willing to eat Diane on a barbecue. The jerk. Anywho, that brought her to the edge
of madness. And, when approached by the board's members to hold our resident Wuss hostage, she complied with enthusiasm.
"Well it's not MY fault no one let's me bathe!" argued Sean.
"Well WE didn't want to give you a spongebath!" said Carol,
walking into the dimmed room, sporting her marfy beard.
"Besides, you don't bathe anyway! And honestly, NO ONE wants to
give you a spongebath boy!" said the feisty and marfy Kai. Rawr.
"...I wanted to!" said the entering MJ, while Kai, Carol,
Diane, and Peachers roll their eyes.
"Why are you here MJ? You don't hate me!" asked Sean.
"I...just wanted to meet you! On whatever conditions!" stated MJ.
Awwww MJ. The eternal portuch. Got to love her....hey...speaking
of portuchs...
"Awww, Seany, do you want to talk to someone who doesn't hate you?"
mocked Diane.
"...yes...." whispered Sean.
"Okay then! BRING HER IN!" said Diane with utter authority.
Just then, some more marfy girls walked into the room,
all holding their own ends of a large chain.
"Are you sure you want to do this?" said the first girl, who was
sporting a very lovely I LOVE PEACHERS shirt.
"Yes. It's time. By the way, NICE shirt Marci!" said Peachers excitedly.
"Thanks! I knew you'd like it!" said Marci, looking down at her
own shirt. "I'm wearing the matching thong!"
"Oooooooooh!" exclaimed Peachers. Honestly. Who DOESN'T love Peachers.
(That might have been a TINY bit biased...)
"Can we cut the small talk? These chains are getting REALLY
heavy" said a girl with very, very marfy elbows. (HELLO Amish Porn! Raaaaaaaaawr!)
"JEFFY! Your...elbows are exposed!" said another gal, who appeared
to be shocked.
"Well if you've got it, flaunt it Lauren!" replied the elbowed exposed
Jeffy.
"Yeah CC!" defended Marci.
"Mmmm...elbow rape..." thought Peachers, out loud.
"Girls...girls...we ALL know that Jeffy likes exposing her elbows...might
as well not try to fight it...they're...a force of their own!" said Diane, as all the girls nodded in agreement. "And hey!
Didn't I tell you to BRING HER IN?"
"Oh yeah!" said Jeffy, as all the gals pulled hard on their ends
of the chains.
And what Sean saw next was...pure horror. What was attatched to
the chains..was a full frontal, rabid, horny, and down right annoying...PORTUCH!
"LYKE OMFG IS THAT SEAN BIGGERSTAFF!!!111!!!???" said the Portuch.
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!" screamed Sean.
"LYKE OMFG! THAT *IS* SEAN BIGGERSTAFF!!!111!!! I LUV YOU!
WILL YOU MARRY ME? AND...DO YOU LIKE BOXERS OR BRIEFS? OH! R YOU A VIRGIN?" said the giddy Portuch. (God...that
took me like an hour to type...)
"Hey Portuch! Guess what! Sean wants a spongebath!" said Peachers
maniacly.
"O...M...F...G!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11111111111!!!!!!!!!!!!!11!"
screeched the Portuch.
"I can't even understand what she's SAYING!" complained Sean, as
the Portuch was allowed to prep the sponges. "THE BEARD! SAVE MEEEEEEEEEE!"
"...not even The Beard can save you now!" said Carol, as she waggled
it, as all of them cackled.
Dundunduuuuuuuuun...
To be continued...
